Once upon a time, somewhere in-between childhood and adolescence, I felt like my life was too overwhelming, like everybody hates me, I felt alone... But something else was burning inside of me, something that honestly I rarely feel, anger.
I was angry with me, my family, my so-called friends, people I once knew but that became mere strangers, all of them were to blame!
For days that anger was consuming me, to let out my frustration I wrote "hate, hATE, HATE, H A T E" horrible, hateful things went through my mind, but I dodn't want to be like that, I didn't want to be that person, so I grabbed those feelings, all that hate, and I burned it... I simply burned it!
i know it seems so idiotic how burning a piece of written paper can influence something, but when I saw that flame consume the blue, black and red ink I also burned the hate in my mind, and for a small moment I felt so calm, so peaceful, it was marvellous.
Since then I've taken as a habit to burn my feeling away, sadness, anger, frustration... even love... I burn it all away in my mind, if I do that I can protect myself, I can continue to feel that brief peace in my mind, people say I have to take leaps of faith, that I have to trust... To hell with that! Never let anyone tell you that you have to feel, you can't hide away, yes, it's unhealthy, yes, I may miss chances at something great, but that is because I KNOW I'm not ready, and if you're not either don't let anybody tell you otherwise!
- Nana Beluzzi
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